Happy Monday Everyone...
Well I wouldn't exactly say happy Monday, considering I've been having so many thoughts is the past week, I think its time I laid them out to clear the air...
I can't help but think where has respect and love for one another gone. Or even ones respect for them self. This whole year has been filled with so many negatives in peoples lives its beginning to make me rethink is everyone this blind? Your all wondering what the hell am I talking about? Okay well lets get started then..but before I do, this is a warning, this is all strictly from a woman's perspective, of course I know this can happen to men as well...but lets me real, i'm a woman not a man so I will speak for all my fellow ladies :)
Have you ever dated a guy and at first he seems so perfect, then after some time , or changes later he decides to switch on you and be the complete opposite of what you thought he was?
Maybe he hits you, lies you, makes you feel less of a person, things in his life suddenly arise, things you had no acknowledgment of unless he would've told you? The list could go on, but I figured i'd keep it at minimum before my blood began to boil.
What I found so fascinating is how some woman allow disrespecting behavior from their significant other to continue without any consequences! "Oh my man lies to me, or treats me less than i'm worth, but I love him and maybe after 20 more talks he'll change". Well for my own opinion, their ignorant to think that way. I've been there and done that for 5 years of wasted time. Well I wouldn't really say wasted time because dealing with a relationship that just brought me down taught me how to appreciate a real good man that actually loves you and treats you like you should be.
Being with a man who treats you less than what your worth, really does promote what YOU think of yourself. I know a few ladies, whose mentality is "I can't be alone, I need to be with someone, being single isn't me". They don't want to admit it, but their actions prove differently. They even put themselves in a relationship that is going no where, to prevent themselves of being an independent woman who can do everything perfectly fine on their own. Yet instead be with a man who they want to use as their crutch because of their inner fears. What they don't want to realize is that, when you find yourself being with a man because of that sole fact, you set yourself up in a relationship where you think the next guy will be the one to fix you, when really its you that needs to fix you.
After my 5 year relationship, I became a single, do what I want, No one can't tell me nothing, life is too short, I don't care woman. Your thinking, okay whats wrong with this picture. Well...I never gave time to fix me. To figure out what I wanted, what is it in my life that has changed in the past 5 years that I needed to fix. Where are my dreams and aspirations, what did I give up to be with that person that I ended up losing myself. After living the single life, I realized, I lost the true respect for myself. You can have confidence for yourself, but to not respect your true ones self, your nothing. I had to realize, I don't need a man to be happy, to work, to have fun, to live MY life. That the right man will come when you find out that truth and seek it.
I realized MY worth, and changed my life around. Now 2 years later I'm married to my best friend, my soul mate, my one true love. He had my heart lifetimes ago, but for a very long time, I was blind to see it, I hadn't found my true respect for myself yet. But when I did he was right there waiting.
I see a lot of lost woman, trying to find themselves in the men they are dating and usually those man are what they feel they are worth. You have the little boys that are still attached to their mothers nipple, boys that love to have their cake and eat it too, the lies, the players, the good at first sight and switch on you after you move in together, have a kid, oh ladies the list goes on. But with all this being said, I don't necessarily blame all men for the outcome of bad relationships. Us woman have a play in it too. If you find yourself making excuses for ones bad action that keeps repeating itself, isn't that ignorant? I can recall a close friend of mine, who repeatedly made excuses for the actions of her ex. One minute he was telling lies, deceiving her, just being a down right dog to her, the next hes feeding her all the words in the world to have her in the palm of his hand and he would repeat this action several times. Until he absolutely just spit in her face with the lowest disrespect he could to her to finally end this storm. like the saying "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me". Now he just began a breed of mentality for woman. One that can't trust, who thinks every man is out to hurt her, and you wonder why its so hard to find a good man, but some are so lost in the hurt, they turn away the healing of a good man.
For whatever reason, these woman past were like for them to feel and do the things they do. I know my past there was alot of insecurities. The feeling that he wants me, because no one does, so I have to stay with him, make things work. You can't think like that...
A real man, will love you unconditionally, see no one but you as he lifetime partner, wont lie to you to achieve any goal he is trying to achieve for himself, care for you no matter the circumstances, build a lifetime of happiness with you. Relationships are team work. You can't have just one person putting in all the work. Its the dedication, love and respect for one another that keep the relationship going.
I know there will be ups and downs, but as long as there is trust, love, respect, and commitment... there should be no reason a good man will love and care for a good woman. So ladies respect yourself, find your true worth, don't settle for anything less, because once you find your true calling the right man will find you.
-T
